What’s changed since last time? I had a recipe. I found it in my cookbook Melt by Stephanie Stiavetti and Garrett McCord. I decided I’d trust them and their recipe because I loved their chorizo macaroni and cheese. Last time I didn’t have a recipe and I was just winging it. But this time, maybe things would be different. Maybe the flavor combinations would be delicious. Maybe the pasta would redeem itself and not taste so nasty. Maybe I could eat a whole bowl.

And I did eat the whole bowl! And it was pretty good!

One thing that made this version better is that I bought the gluten-full pasta. Last time I accidentally bought gluten-free, and I think that must give the pasta a different flavor. Last time the pasta was gummy and really bitter. This time it had the expected pasta texture and had only a slight bitter hint. Last time, the pasta made the whole apartment smell like delicious chocolate. This time, there was hardly any fragrance. I don’t know exactly why there was a difference, but there definitely was one.

But, what really made this recipe tasty and interesting was the combination of flavors. It has sweetness in the cherries, salty and creaminess from the cheese, and a nice crunch from the arugula and hazelnuts. By the authors’ own admission this recipe is a bit “esoteric,” but I think it was fun to try something a little bit unusual. This recipe is a simple way to spice up the mid-week meal. And to conclude, I’ll just go out on a limb and say it, chocolate pasta is back in my good graces.

This recipe is from the cookbook Melt. I made some adaptations based on the amount of money and time I wanted to spend finding ingredients. Instead of hazelnut oil I used olive oil and I omitted the cocoa nibs.

Ingredients:

1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp olive oil

2 tbsp red wine vinegar

2 tbsp maple syrup

3/4 tsp mustard powder

sea salt

ground black pepper

1/2 cup hazelnuts

12 ounces chocolate pasta

5 ounces Bucherondin, roughly broken (I found this easily at Whole Foods, but you can use any soft goat cheese)

1 cup pitted cherries

2 cups whole arugula

Ingredients

1. Preheat the oven to 350°.

2. In a small bowl (or jar with a little) mix together the olive oil, red wine vinegar, maple syrup, mustard powder, salt and pepper. Whisk (or shake) until combined. Taste and adjust seasoning if needed.

3. Place the hazelnuts on a baking sheet and toast in the oven for 10 to 15 minutes or until the skins darken and blister. The nuts will start to smell nice.

4. While the hazelnuts are roasting, start the pasta. Cook the pasta in boiling water until al dente.

4. Remove the hazelnuts from the oven and wrap them in a dishtowel and leave them to steam for 1 minute. Rub the nuts in the dishtowel to rub the skins off.

5. Roughly chop the nuts and set them aside.

6. When the pasta is done drain it. Arrange portions into separate bowls.

7. Scatter the Bucherondin, cherries, and hazelnuts over the pasta. Mix in the arugula. Pour the vinaigrette over the pasta.

8. Mix and eat!

Messy level: Three spoons. This recipe is messy because pitting cherries is a little annoying, crumbling cheese is sticky, and the hazelnut skins will get everywhere. It’s not such an unruly messy, but I want you to know what you’re getting into.

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Last Saturday I was hanging out with my friends, Mala and Anna, and we decided to try out the chocolate pasta. I’m lucky to have very adventurous friends – although maybe now they’ll be more wary of my cooking. We decided to try the pasta, sans bacon, since I didn’t have any. We were going to go basic: oil, crushed red pepper, maybe a little Parmesan.

So I boiled the water and dropped in the pasta. The  kitchen filled with the most decadent chocolate aroma. It smelled like hot chocolate. But that is not descriptive enough to truly convey how great it smelled. It smelled like hot chocolate on Christmas. It smelled like when you have hot chocolate and curl up with a blanket and a book on a rainy day. It smelled like when you’re a kid and you come in from a long day of sledding and you’re face is pink and cold and your mom has hot chocolate waiting. It smelled like the best hot chocolate of your life.

And that’s probably the worst part because that smell was a lie. A horrible, disappointing, lie. Smell and taste are supposed to be so intricately linked! If a dish smells good, then that is supposed to indicate that the food will taste good.

After the pasta had been cooking for a bit, I fished out one almost-done chocolate noodle to taste. It was gummy and pretty flavorless – like what I imagine mushy sawdust would taste like. I had read that chocolate pasta doesn’t taste like a candy bar, but that there was still some chocolate flavor. This tasted nothing like chocolate. Now I was worried. I gave half of the noodle to Mala, who very kindly suggested that it wasn’t done yet and we should withhold judgement.

The water was turning a dirty brown. Dark brown, like when you’ve let a tea bag steep for too long. Was that where all the chocolate flavor was? I don’t know, because unfortunately I didn’t taste the pasta water.

But, my bold friends and I powered forward. We drained the pasta, served ourselves small portions, and added our toppings. Crowded around the table, I took my first bite and declared, “this is bad!” Anna tried to be supportive, and said some things along the lines of “it’s not good, but it’s not that bad. It’s not the worst.” 

“No,” I insisted, “this is gross, bad, and a disappointment.”

Mala took one bite and said she wouldn’t eat  anymore. In fact, all three of us agreed we weren’t going to eat more. The pasta was bitter, gummy, and unappealing. It tasted bitter like when you buy very pure, very dark chocolate – but there was no richness or chocolate flavor to counter the bitterness. It gave immediate bad breath and made me want to brush my teeth. We all dumped our bowls into the trash. And then we complained, moaned, and hypothesized about what could have happened.

Did I do something wrong? Maybe. But we all felt like I just boiled pasta, how could that have changed it?

Could it be that it was gluten-free? No, we decided. Each of us had eaten gluten-free pasta before and had never had such disastrous results.

Was it the toppings? I’m not sure, but companies make chocolate bars with pepper. And Anna rightly pointed out that, “oil and cheese make everything better.” Also, we felt like the pasta tasted so bad that even if we had gone with strawberries and whipped cream, it still would have tasted bad.

I didn’t expect chocolate pasta to replace regular pasta. I didn’t expect it to be like eating a candy bar. But, what I’d hoped for was a new flavor, something that would be surprising and delightful.  This was none of that.

Do you know what I did wrong? Or have suggestions on what could have gone differently? Out of intellectual curiosity, I’d love to know.

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